With my head anything but in the clouds, i carry myself like a heavy load towards an appointment that has been inevitable for months. Not knowing what to expect of such a meeting, I went in with no expectations what so ever. Though I didn't bring my expectations this time, seeing as how they got lost the last time... this time, they were met. It came as such a surprise, a feeling of joy, overwhelmed by a good ending again, for a minute i think that things are turning up. Not believing what happened, I continue the rest of my day feeling proud, as i got what i wanted,... this time.
I wake up, wish the day away, stumble around and throw on the first clothes i can find. Strutting around the house looking dazed for the instant coffee machine, i think about what just happened, not affecting me so vividly anymore. Ah, the fake sugar gives me my daily dosage of fake energy, right up my alley, right. I check my mail, the mirror - I shiver - shower, dress up, hurry up and catch the last train to arrive not-so-fashionably late on the set. I am tired all the time, being nice costs energy, so i whip out more food my stomach can handle. Binging away, it's official, I have lost control. I can't think or process more than two words at once, i am running around in circles, chaos calms my nerves, rest races my thoughts. Hammer time. My trip to Paris, followed by a few more cities, couldn't have come sooner to save my reason. City of light, guide me. For now, I'm back in Slum village, walking up and down on Memory lane. Let's trade places, step in my shoes and travel from good times to bad times and back again in minutes. High and low, heart beats fast and slow, i feel cold and warm at the same time, not happy not sad, who could ever take this? Misery and magic hand in hand, someone break the spell, this curse, a parasite in me. Distance and solid boundaries, this is final. Heart hopes forever, stop it, so will I. Finally leaving, i'm aware of your moves. You turn a blind eye. Promise not to dwell, see you somewhere. Handle with care, I wish u well
